Author: Embers

If beef stew is the best thing ever…

This is probably in the top ten. I know I’ve not been writing for a couple months now. For various reasons that I hope to cover in the next couple days. But for now, I just want to document this pretty darn good soup I managed to throw together. So that I have a starting point to fiddle with the next time I try.

  • 2 lbs beef, cubed (I’m a lazy cheapskate, so I buy pre-cubed stew meat. But I’m given to understand that chuck roast or other well-marbled cut would be even better)
  • 3 carrots, sliced
  • 1 parsnip, sliced
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 celery stalks, sliced
  • 6-8 cups beef and/or vegetable stock (I ran out of one and finished off with the other)
  • 1 cup red wine
  • 3-5 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 can diced tomatoes
  • 1 small can whole kernel corn
  • 8 oz package sliced mushrooms
  • 1 cup pearl barley
  • 1-2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp rosemary
  • 1 tsp parsley
  • 1 tsp thyme
  • 1 bay leaf
  • salt & pepper

Sprinkle the beef with kosher salt and allow to sit while chopping the vegetables.

In a large soup pot or dutch oven on medium-high heat, brown beef in olive oil, a few pieces at a time. Once pieces are browned, remove from pot and set aside. This should result in a decent amount of tasty brown gunk sticking to the bottom of the pot.

Reduce heat to medium. With all the meat set aside, add onions, carrots, parsnip, celery to pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender. This should take a few minutes. Then add garlic and cook for an additional minute, careful to not let garlic burn. Through this process, try to scrape up the delicious brown stuff and mix into vegetables.

Add back in the meat, and stir. Add wine, stock, herbs, tomatoes, corn, and salt and pepper to taste. If I had a half-cup to a cup of frozen peas, I’d probably throw those in as well. But not canned peas. Something about canned peas…I don’t know. Frozen corn would probably be better than canned, too, but I’m willing to put up with canned corn. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Cook for 2-3 hours until meat is tender.

Add sliced mushrooms and barley. Cook for another hour. Adjust seasonings to taste. Consider adding more salt, pepper, maybe a dash of Worcestershire sauce. Serve with…things? I’m having it with buttered crackers. Crusty bread or rolls might be better, but I don’t have any to hand.

Edit: So it turns out that doesn’t quite cook the barley right. Perhaps after adding the barley, return to a boil, then cook over medium-low? Then just watch it to make sure the barley cooks through and puffs up properly.

Not exactly a health drink

If my bathroom scales and memory are both accurate, I have lost over ten pounds in the last month, since the immediate run-up to the election. In the words of Homer Simpson, “that’s bad.”

I remember thinking around this time last year, that with the racial and political tensions we were facing something akin to the US of 1968. Now, it seems like we may be facing instead Germany of 1933. I hope I’m just being paranoid, that it’s the anxiety speaking still, but someone on Facebook (who has approved sharing, but wishes to remain anonymous) posted the following and my first major reaction was “I wish I didn’t believe you”.

 My mother’s family were the Bronners of Frankfurt. German Jews had been barred from owning land up until the 1870s, but the succeeding years had been kind to us. Our family integrated with Christian society and became prosperous operating a small but growing soap making business. The 20s had been frightening, a decade of economic recession and a sometimes violent back-and-forth of progressives trading power with conservative reactionaries, and nobody was happy when Hitler rose to power, but we’d seen it all before, and the conventional wisdom said to batten down the hatches and ride out the storm. Life had never been better for Jews in Europe than it was in the 20th century. What were we to do, just leave?

In October of 1938 my great-grandfather was abroad on business in England when the German government revoked the passports of all its Jewish citizens and branded them with a scarlet letter J. In November, the largest pogrom Europe had ever seen erupted across Germany. The streets were littered with broken shopfronts. Temples burned. Thirty thousand Jews were arrested and incarcerated.

My great-grandmother called her husand, and told him: don’t come home. She sold all her family’s assets at a fraction of their worth, found a forger to get Aryan passports, and sent her children on a train to Holland, telling them they were on their way to summer camp. They arrived in an orphanage, and many months later, their parents were able to find them, and they brought their family to America where they made a new life.

My father’s family were the Fischbeins of Oradea, a border town on the edge of Romania and Hungary. They were a family of textilers, and lacked the means and the urgency to escape. When the Third Reich occupied Hungary in 1944, my grandfather and his two brothers were made into slave laborers digging tank traps on the Eastern front where the Nazis treated them worse than livestock, and which they only survived because Hungary prevaricated so long in revoking the citizenship of their Jews that the war was nearly over by the time they were taken. Both their parents died in the gas chambers at Auschwitz.

I am a daughter of the Holocaust. Both my grandfathers survived it. Two of my great-grandparents died in it. You can search the Old Country for my grand aunts and uncles but you won’t find them, or anyone who remembers them. I am a descendent of the lucky and smart. I grew up with these stories, always aware that my existance on this earth was tethered to reality by the merest gossamer of probability and shrewd judgement. I grew up always knowing that it happened there and it could happen here.

Generations repeat themselves every twenty years, and crises repeat themselves every eighty. 1776. 1860. 1942.

2025.

None of you understand how serious this is. You don’t understand how bad it’s going to get. You all think this is 1938. I’m telling you, it’s 1933. Ask yourself how your great-grandparents died. That’s how you get to die.

I feel sick. I feel like I lost a family member; like I buried my future on November 8th, and every day since then the panic and dread have been rising in me. Remember this: history is written by the winners. Lincoln and Roosevelt both had authoritarian tendancies, but they won, and so we lionize them. We don’t know that Trump isn’t the next Lincoln or Roosevelt; timing suggests he might be. Our grandchildren might look back on this crisis of American supremacy in the global era and say “Trump was the strong man that the times called for, and it was sad that the Muslims and Mexicans and Trans people and Jews all had to go so that we could be safe and unified.”

I want to tell you to stay and fight for your country and your values but I don’t really believe that is a fight that can be won anymore. You think your whiteness will save you, but your whiteness can be taken from you. You think your constitution will protect you, but your constitution can be ignored, amended, and repealed. You think the decency of your neighbors will defend you, but their decency will melt away the moment their backs are to the wall.

It’s time to run.

Open bank accounts in other countries. Visit. Learn the languages. Grow roots. Marry foreigners. Get your documents up to date. Keep a bag packed. Be ready to leave in an instant, and never look back.

Guns don’t save lives. Passports save lives.

I try to have hope. I am part of several communities (quiz bowl, the greater geek community, and especially those I have met through cosplay) that I would like to believe would have nothing to do with this rising tide of white nationalism. But what power do these groups have?

I feel trapped. I want to be a force for change, but the mental problems I’ve been dealing with make it difficult to interact with strangers which rules out many forms of activism. I can try to contribute financially to organizations that will hopefully be forces for good, or prepare to desert the sinking ship of state, but limited financial resources make that seem impossible as well. Plus I have these new medical bills to deal with.

I don’t know for sure (because I’ve been afraid to ask), but I suspect my boss is a die-hard Republican who wholeheartedly supported Trump’s campaign–I did overhear him discussing celebrating the election results–so it’s hard to go to him and say “you need to pay me more money so I can prepare to get out of the country” (or “support Planned Parenthood, or the ACLU, or the Human Rights Campaign, or the SPLC, or Fight for the Future, or, or, or…”).

So, please, help me believe that this nation, that people are better than this. Stand with your neighbors. Don’t let hatred and fear triumph. Don’t let corporate interests and small-minded bigots determine our future.

Peace.

Three-and-two life goals for my thirty-second year

I turned 32 today. That number doesn’t really bother me, but getting older still has been pretty unpleasant this year. My birthday has always been somewhat linked with Election Day. I was born the day after President Reagan was elected to his second term. In 2002, the year Senator Wellstone died in a plane crash, I turned 18 the day after Election Day, so I was unable to vote in his memory. This year, any celebration would fall on a Monday, and be marred by being sandwiched between the disruption to sleep schedule due to Daylight Savings Time and the stress of the most frightening and disturbing election season I can remember coming to a head.

I’ve written about this year’s election here before, so I don’t really want to get into it that deeply. But I am scared about what this nation is becoming. I mentioned on Facebook that I was unable to continue my usual tradition of watching the film “V for Vendetta” on 11/5. The depiction of a totalitarian government that came to power by blaming a nations troubles on “immigrants, Muslims, homosexuals, terrorists, [and] disease-ridden degenerates” hit just a little too close to home.

But, I still want to turn this year’s implementation of $AGE++ into something more positive. So I’m turning toward one of the things that inspired starting this blog in the first place. Back in, I believe, fall of last year, actor/writer/blogger Wil Wheaton started a project of rebooting his life where he would attempt a series of life changes and document them on a monthly basis. His goals were:

  • Drink less beer.
  • Read more (and Reddit does not count as reading).
  • Write more.
  • Watch more movies.
  • Get better sleep.
  • Eat better food.
  • Exercise more.

I am not a writer nor an actor, so I don’t feel the need to write, read, or watch more movies. However, I have similar goals for health and overall holistic well-being. These are goals that can be worked on continuously and see progress over the course of a year (or approximately nine months, in one case), rather than some of the other single-event driven ones I still have (get a driver’s license, possibly find a better-paying job, etc.) I’ve decided these will be my focus for the next year:

Drink less beer.

I have been drinking 1-2 beers every night for the past few years. I’ve made attempts to cut back before, before that I was in the 3-4 range. As part of getting older, and of having success cutting back in the past, my tolerance for alcohol has been drastically decreased. If I have two beers in one night, it’s a 50-50 chance I’ll wake up in the middle of the night feeling ill as a result. There’s no reason to keep doing that to myself on a regular basis.

Make more music.

I sang in choirs for years throughout high school and college. I miss being a part of something like that, but I haven’t found something organized that I can fit into my schedule regularly with a travel time I would be comfortable with. I’ve heard that there’s a Unitarian Universalist church not too far from where I live that has a strong choir with a good director that I might look into, though. This doesn’t have to mean performance, though. The title of this blog was inspired by the digital piano I purchased around Labor Day and the funny looks I get from my cats when I practice. Just managing to fit in a few hours of practice during the week would help significantly toward this goal and exercise parts of my brain that I feel have atrophied a bit since graduating college.

Get better sleep.

This may develop simply as a result of the other goals on this list, or it may require special effort of its own. It somewhat remains to be seen. The last few weeks have shown the need to track this on its own, though.

Exercise more.

Every time I try to make running a part of my schedule, I seem to have it work for a few weeks, then somehow injure myself which puts me off the whole thing for entirely too long. Plus those good old Minnesota winters just make me want to huddle under some blankets as soon as I get off of work. My apartment claims to be working on updating their work-out room with modern equipment, though. I am hoping that once they do so, I will be able to make working out more of a routine without having to venture out into the wind and snow. Even if they don’t, I might wind up breaking out the old DDR equipment, since I live on the ground level with cement floors and nobody below me.

Finish three costumes by Con next year.

This is for exercising another creative part of my brain. I’ve discovered I really enjoy sewing, now that I have something a little more exciting than ordinary clothes to be working on. Last year, I managed two, but one was a nightmare of rushed work on spray-painted foam that I just don’t want to deal with again. This year, I have at least three in mind, all of which only take small steps out of the area I’m more comfortable with. An Imperial uniform from Star Wars, which is currently in progress and requires me to more thoroughly adapt a pattern or create my own than I’ve done in the past. Solas from Dragon Age Inquisition, which will require working with leather, or an acceptable substitute. And Lennier from Babylon 5, which will require creating a prosthetic headpiece. Fortunately, I’ve had some pretty thorough instruction on how to do that in latex from a family that created one for Galaxy Quest’s Dr. Lazarus, but it’s still something I’ve never tried working with before.

A number of these will inter-relate, and they will all make demands on my time that will require a little better time-management than I’ve pulled off in the past. But I think they should all be worthwhile. Though probably not easy.

An impromptu word game takes off

A few months back, a couple friends and I accidentally set off a comment storm on Facebook trying to one-up each other coming up with goofy new definitions of existing words/named/whatever. I had been occasionally posting these as I thought of them for awhile, with little to no reaction, things like “Sea Legs (n.) – Where baby seals come from”. These were generally inspired by a frequently played game from I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue, a BBC radio show that got started in the 70s, hit its stride in the mid-80s, and despite the passing of one of its original panelists as well as its chairman is still going strong.

However, back in July, I posted “Apply (adj.) – Somewhat like an apple.” an old friend responded with another definition, and we fired back and forth–with the help of a few others–for the better part of two days, producing over 200 examples of the fine art of punnery. I’d heard a lot of examples in the aforementioned radio show, so I tried to avoid using them as much as possible, though I think a handful slipped through. Most of those only work in a British accent anyway, though (like “Arizona – person to whom Harry belongs”).

Because I don’t trust Facebook to archive comments on comments (most of these were buried somewhat in the conversation tree), I’ve reproduced the list with credit here, editing out some of the meta-conversation that took place along the way. Some only make sense written down, others only when read out loud.

Ben L. Apply (adj.) – Somewhat like an apple.
Jeff H. Irony (adj.) – How the water at my work tastes.
Ben L. Malady (adj.) – a bit like a duck.
Ben L. Vanish (adj.) – having the quality of a Ford Transit.
Jeff H. Burnished (adj.) – damaged somewhat, but not severely, by heat.
Ben L. Baler (adj.) – more like the actor who portrayed Bruce Wayne and Patrick Bateman.
Jeff H. Haywain (int.) – a way to get the attention of Garth’s best friend.
Ben L. Hayrick (int.) – how to get the attention of the artist behind “Never Gonna Give You Up”
Jeff H. Haystack (int.) – an affectionate, nickname-using means of getting the attention of the author of the original X-Wing books.
Ben L. Hayride (int.) – a method for contacting the first female astronaut.
Jeff H. Hayfever (int.) – a means for determining that you’re too sick to go into work: when you start addressing your illness as a person, you’re proooobably too far gone.
Ben L. Haunted hayride (n.) – a method for posthumously contacting the first female astronaut.
Jeff H. Wagon (n.) – a medication for dogs. Apply directly to the tail.
Ben L. Fillion (n.) – a medication for female horses.
Ben L. Poupon (n.)….no, too easy, let’s not go there.
Jeff H. Clarinet (v.) – getting the dinner mess off the table.
Jeff H. Adonalsium (v.) – What you do when your project seems to be just one alsium short.
Ben L. Mullet (v.) – what I do when I can’t quite complete a thought.
Jeff H. Bequest (v.) – The only real choice when you want to cosplay as a terrible Nintendo 64 RPG.
Ben L. Relatedly: Willful (adj.) – having more than satisfactorily planned ones estate.
Jeff H. Relatedly: Relatedly (adj.) – having inhumed the boss of the MacGuffin quest AGAIN.
Ben L. Punitive (adj.) – the level to which this conversation has descended.
Jeff H. Argument (exc.) – What to say upon realizing what the other person had in mind.
Jeff H. Monument (exc.) – Variation of “argument”. Unique to the Jamaican dialect.
Jeff H. Shingles (n.) – Sean Connery’s preferred tennis format.
Ben L. Tenants (n.) – an early stage in the development of a colony.
Jeff H. Catatonic (n.) – a type of drink popular about two WoW expansions ago.
Ben L. Wallet (v.) – a certain presidential candidate’s plan for our southern neighbor.
Jeff H. Epidemic (n.) – the online version of a regular demic.
Ben L. Pillage (n.) – the large amounts of medication marketed to the elderly.
Jeff H. Banana (v.) – what TMBG fans who are sick of hearing about holes made with guns perpendicular would like the band to do at their concerts.
Ben L. Percent (v.) – I’ve arranged for your handbag to be delivered.
Ben L. A-list (n.) – Beer connoisseur.
Ben L. Garbage (n.) – how to judge vintage clothing.
Jeff H. Garden (n.) – where packs of gar lair.
Jeff H. Evanescence (n.) – the fundamental core being of Bruce’s co-anchor. What a sad word.
Jeff H. Minimum (n.) – a small maternal parent.
Jeff H. Tangent (n.) – a man who has recently returned from a sunny vacation spot.
Ben L. Fashionable (v.) – to create male cattle.
Ben L. Toenail (n.) – an alcoholic beverage that improves ones musical ability.
Jeff H. Crumpet (n.) – a small piece of bread, pastry, etc. kept as a companion.
Jeff H. Target (v.) – Bring me some sticky roofing material!
Ben L. Bargain (v.) – To become able to practice law.
Ben L. Bivalve (int.) – What a former employee says upon being fired by Gabe Newell.
Jeff H. Disingenuous (v.) – The practice of insulting someone who is much smarter than you.
Jeff H. Arabia (proper n.) – a country which has completely eradicated hydrophobia.
Jeff H. Brigandine (n.) – an alloy made from ruffians, scofflaws, and highway robbers.
Jeff H. Danger (int.) – Just danger all to heck.
Ben L. Oyster (n.) – Someone skilled at shouting at people.
Ben L. Shyster (n.) – Someone not skilled at shouting at people.
Ben L. Cloister (n.) – Someone just too sickeningly sweet to be around.
Ben L. Baltic (n.) – Testicular spasm.
Jeff H. Gustatory (v.) – Blow wind at a conservative Briton.
Jeff H. Earnest (n.) – The highest-compensated earner.
Jeff H. Feedback (n.) – A euphemism for baby vomit.
Ben L. Mutineer (int.) – This room’s gone awfully silent
Ben L. Cadaver (int.) – I am capable of having sex with that woman
Ben L. Adder (int.) – I have already had sex with that woman
Jeff H. Hiccup (n.) – The redneck has arisen.
Ben L. Next door (n.) – A place to buy a neck.
Jeff H. Albatross (proper n.) – That’s Mr. Ross, to you.
Jeff H. Humble (n.) – A low-key musical male cow.
Jeff H. Connote (n.) – A message from an inmate.
Ben L. Coward (adj.) – in the direction of ol’ Bessy over there.
Jeff H. Germane (n.) – Goo know, ger luscious hair.
Jeff H. Gluten (n.) – What you do when gluing nine wasn’t enough.
Ben L. Expert (adj.) – Limp and sagging.
Jeff H. Glower (n.) – A thing what shines brightly in the darkness.
Ben L. Pyrite (v.) – to properly prepare pastry.
Jeff H. Burdensome (adj.) – Beyond just cold.
Ben L. LOL. Complain (n.) – Free air travel.
Ben L. Mixer (n.) – An Irish nobleman.
Ben L. Mercantile (n.) – Ceramic floor covering produced by this country.
Jeff H. Mercantile (n.) – ceramic covering for the pubic region.
Jeff H. Massacre (n.) – .247kg/km^2
Ben L. Control (v.) – to take monetary advantage of an Internet hooligan
Ben L. Burgle (n.) – Frigid Final Fantasy funds.
Jeff H. Winsome (n.) ant: losesome.
Jeff H. Catharsis (n.) – A Scottish feline/equine hybrid. Very temperamental, and not advisable for riding.
Ben L. Misty (Prop. n.) – Daughter of the actor who portrayed B.A. Baracus on The A-Team.
Corey M. Feline (n.) the boundary at which you must pay.
Corey M. Temperamental (n.) the state of being mad for washable paint.
Ben L. Pastor (n.) – An oral hesitation used previously.
Corey M. Company – when you are able to choose any of the various tickets available once a business has wronged you in some fashion
Ben L. Mars Bar (n.) – Immigration embargo on residents of the fourth planet.
(note: I had to look up to make sure that the candy was named after a person, not the deity or planet, otherwise it would seem like cheating)
Ben L. Impressed (n.) – A small goblin’s nap.
Jeff H. Monotony (n.) – A Magic the Gathering deck archetype using only cards named Anthony.
Ben L. Walrus (n.) – Where the aforementioned presidential candidate might purchase his solution for our southern neighbor.
Jeff H. Algorithm (n.) – The underlying basis for the 45th Vice President’s sick dance moves.
Ben L. Polygon (int.) – My parrot’s escaped
Jeff H. Malachite (n.) – A term for a class of wind-powered flying toy that is especially prone to getting itself destroyed. See also: rafachite.
Jeff H. Legible (adj.) – Able to be legged.
Ben L. Legend (n.) – Foot.
Jeff H. Army (adj
Jeff H. I can’t.
Jeff H. Not in the face of that.
Jeff H. Prefect (adj.) – In a state of awaiting copulation.
Ben L. Mitosis (n.) – see “Legend”.
Jeff H. Amicable (adj.) – I can be frozen.
Jeff H. Allegory (int.) – That lower extremity is in pretty rough shape.
Jeff H. Prattled (stmt.) – An accurate description of the characterization in Jurassic World.
Jeff H. Efficacy (int.) – I know he’s atta bat, but I justa hate that guy.
Jeff H. Dirigible (adj.) – Able to be made floppy.
Ben L. Micro (n.) – A bird of genus Corvus, belonging to me.
Ben L. Bandage (n.) – A long succession of musical acts.
Ben L. Lupine (n.) – A tree for urinating against.
Corey M. Liturgy (n.) the opposite of writer’s block.
Corey M. Mirror (n.) the sound Russian space stations make when they hit the atmosphere
Ben L. Mystical (n.) – a sex worker with a very specific skill.
Corey M. Allostatic (n.) when every electronic device in your house fails to find a signal
Ben L. Hemostatic (n.) – when you don’t use enough fabric softener and your skirt sticks to your leg.
Corey M. Ratio – a rodent-run data center service.
Corey M. Pumpkin – your bros who also lift, bro.
Ben L. Hydrate (n.) – Method for paying fur trappers.
Ben L. Forsake (n.) – The reason I went to the sushi bar.
Corey M. Pleasure (adj.) – someone who believes begging always works
Corey M. Or rather, having the quality of believing that begging always works
Corey M. Pandemonium (n.) a place where black and white bears go to fornicate
Ben L. Horror film (n.) – A choice of amusements.
Corey M. Disabled (n.) having two marten pelts
Ben L. Perspire (n.) – One who rifles through another’s handbag.
Ben L. Mammary (n.) – Polite language.
Ben L. Cursory (n.) – Impolite language.
Mary L. I know I’m late to the game, but may I add one? Depend (n.) – the place where the diving board is located.
Ben L. Ovine (n.) – six second long pornographic video loop
Ben L. Artery (n.) – museum exhibition.
Mary L. Bagel (n.) – any of a variety of sea birds, habitat being in the San Francisco area.
Ben L. Mystery (adj.) – male-dominated.
Corey M. Reply (n.) a falsehood a marketing person tells you in order to get you to buy the product
Corey M. Balance (n.) – an unpleasant medical procedure to drain the scrotum of interstitial fluids
Ben L. Elongate – that gentleman took quite a while to finish his meal.
Jeff H. Monotony – (n.) a malady that Anthony got from kissing indiscriminately.
Ben L. Prologue (adj.) – In favor of deforestation.
Jeff H. Ascent (n.) – a particularly rude treefolk.
Jeff H. Eulogy (n.) – the study of ancient pre-Christian winter celebrations.
Ben L. Efficiency – Santiago is at it again.
Jeff H. Sensible (n.) – a person who is both a legislator and an oracle.
Jeff H. Foretold (n.) – an ancient defensive structure.
Ben L. Subtract (n.) – Religious footnote.
Jeff H. Antique (n.) – a yelp emitted by a parent’s sister who has been frightened.
Jeff H. Gramophone (n.) – a telecommunications device owned by a parent’s mother.
Ben L. Counteract (n.) – Fast food job.
Jeff H. Genuine (int.) – All right, Jennifer, I give in already.
Jeff H. Gangly (adv.) – in a manner similar to criminal organizations.
Jeff H. Number (int.) – It is so freaking cold out I can’t feel my face.
Ben L. Artifact – Did you know that Picasso’s career lasted over 50 years?
Jeff H. Bisect (n.) – a religious group that goes both ways.
Ben L. Barbecue (n.) – Line-up of Mattel products.
Jeff H. Dungeon (n.) – an empty bottle that smells of pine trees.
Ben L. Radish (adj. ) – only moderately cool.
Jeff H. Drama (v.) – to create a portrait of one’s mother.
Jeff H. Garbage (n.) – you know, stuff you wear.
Jeff H. Abandon (n.) – designated rest area for traveling musical groups.
Ben L. Manager (n.) – comic book superweapon that causes death by natural causes.
Jeff H. Supervisor (n.) – a piece of eyewear that grants amazing powers.
Jeff H. Employer (n.) – an attorney specializing in cases that involve the disruption of electronic devices.
Ben L. Curate (n.) – What John de Lancie got paid.
Jeff H. Irate (n.) – my personal salary.
Jeff H. Gestate (int.) – an I reckon I don’t need to agin.
Ben L. Dragon Age (n.) – the stage in one’s life where one experiments with cross-dressing.
Jeff H. Commensurate (n.) – the amount typically paid to the average, run-of-the-mill gentleman.
Ben L. Cobra (n.) – woman’s undergarment designed for two.
Ben L. Morbid (n.) – an ongoing auction.
Jeff H. Vanquish (n.) – a French egg dish best enjoyed DOWN BY THE RIVER.
Ben L. Bigotry (n.) – giant redwood.
Ben L. Produce (n.) – laxative.
Jeff H. Distinct (int.) – no really, it smelt real bad.
Jeff H. Probiotic (n.) – e.g., Miranda Lawson.
Ben L. Warping (n.) – international DDoS attack.
Jeff H. I’d thought you might have said this already (in these words), but ctrl-f isn’t finding it:
Disengage (v.) – break off the nuptuals.
Ben L. Or to sell one’s gaming taco phone.
Jeff H. Ultimate (int.) – use yer bleedin’ ult on ‘im already!
Ben L. Translate (v.) – to realize one’s true gender at an advanced age.
Ben L. Confusion (n.) – when Anime Detour and CONvergence take place at the same time.
Ben L. Brouhaha (n.) – an amusing coffee drink.
Jeff H. Transcendental (n.) – a rare type of establishment offering both gender-related counseling and tooth work.
Ben L. Capitalize (n.) – Roman numerals small in magnitude.
Jeff H. Inspire (adj.) – within the confines of a large, narrow tower.
Jeff H. Angler (n.) – an architect, draftsman, or geometry teacher.
Ben L. Despise (v.) – to mock desserts.
Ben L. Propagate (n.) – a well-built entryway.
Jeff H. Internal (adj.) – reader.isProgrammer = get(joke) ? true : false
// I know you could just set it to get(joke) shut up shut up
Jeff H. Açaí (n.) – the proper response to most of these jokes.
Ben L. Boolean (n.) – underweight ghost.
Jeff H. Underweight (n.) – how Giles Corey died.
Ben L. Barking (n.) – free-spending alcoholic.
Jeff H. Intestine (adj.) – What students often are, particularly when preparing to apply for college.
Jeff H. Hiccup (n.) – a drinking vessel for a yokel.
Jeff H. Bereft (int.) – that ursine just can’t catch a break.
Ben L. Promising (adj.) – unable to attend the spring formal.
Jeff H. Miasma (n.) – the reason I carry an inhaler.
(no I don’t.)
Jeff H. Infidel (adj.) – the current state of Castro’s food.
Jeff H. Barack (n.) – another name for sheep ribs.
Ben L. Automatic (n.) – storage space only able to be used three months out of the year.
Ben L. Neighbor (n.) – uninteresting horse.
Jeff H. Tympanic (n.) – what happens when Timothy’s anxiety gets to be just too much.
Ben L. Massacred (n.) – output of a cheese factory.
Corey M. Lotion – the tibia of a short person
Ben L. Predict (adj.) – see “prefect”.
Ben L. Nihilist (n.) – competitor in an Egyptian regatta.
Jeff H. Habitable (adj.) – able to be learned as an automatic behavior.
Jeff H. Exterminate (v.) – to fire one’s former significant other.
Jeff H. Sarcasm (n.) – a canyon where one might catch a potentially deadly illness.
Jeff H. Erect (int.) – that guy was completely destroyed.
Jeff H. Encomium (n.) – a glowing speech given by the director of the FBI. (Definitely NOT what we saw recently.)
Jeff H. Intact (n.) – some function called on a whole number.
Jeff H. Delegate (v.) – remove something’s lower limbs.
Jeff H. Arson (n.) – the male child of, you know, us.
Jeff H. Distraught (n.) – an affliction of software packages.
Ben L. Cannibal (n.) – Single serving of a popular energy drink
Ben L. Malpractice (n.) – Something Nathan Fillion no longer needs
Ben L. Picnic (v.) – To steal photography credit

When elections give me nightmares

Last night I donated to the Hillary Clinton campaign. Making political donations is not something I do often, or lightly. As I’ve written earlier, I’m trying to keep a close eye on my finances so as to get my debt under control and start saving for retirement. But this election feels more important, and thus more stressful, than any of those I can remember in my life thus far.

I am a straight, white, middle-class male, with full-time employment, able to afford my own place to live, food, and a certain degree of comfort and entertainment. Yes, I still worry about money, but really, I personally am highly unlikely to be directly affected by any governmental policy that comes out of the next four years.

Why, then, am I so concerned about the outcome of the next six and a half weeks? Because it’s about everyone else. It’s about who we are as a country. There was a running joke in my AP Humanities class back in high school that every culture’s rise in greatness was paralleled by a rise of the middle class. Well, we are at a turning point here. On the one hand, we can elect a reality TV plutocrat, who has tied himself to outright racist and hateful ideologies, and thus continue to oppress minorities and concentrate wealth in the hands of a mighty few, leading to our own collapse into mediocrity if not outright destruction. Or we can say no, we are better than this.

I may not agree with the entirety of Clinton’s platform. As someone with ties to the technology field, I am quite disappointed with how she’s handled her information infrastructure in the past, and look forward to the day when someone who grew up with the Internet and information technology as an integrated part of their lives is a viable candidate. I certainly don’t agree with her hawkish foreign policy stance or ties to the banking industry. But in these ways, Trump would be far worse.

I know some people I know would ask, why not vote for a third option? Because that’s not what this is about. We need to prove that we as a nation will have nothing to do with the hatred and bigotry that Trump advocates. To quote Wil Wheaton, “Trump has to be defeated in an historical landslide. He needs to be humiliated, and he needs to take as much of his party down with him as possible.”

How To Do Basic Shit

Stop Taking Pride In Not Knowing How To Do Basic Shit

This was the article that inspired me to start writing this blog. Someone “liked” it, or linked to it, or in some other way caused it to appear on my Facebook feed. I don’t much care for its holier-than-thou attitude, and I’m not sure I agree on some of the qualities that supposedly define “adulthood”, but it did make me take a closer look at how I’m living my life and what I would like to improve.

At first, I was somewhat defensive. I might well be one of those “[dudes with]…bare-bones furniture and empty walls and nothing in the fridge but beer, old pizza, and a crusty bottle of ketchup.” Then I realized that it’s not really about home decor or design aesthetic, but about taking charge and responsibility for your own life. After all, the reason my fridge is so frequently empty is because I live within a mile of three different grocery options, so on-demand shopping tends to be the name of the game.

So while that might not be a problem, there are three areas of my life that I would consider myself to still be “failing”, at least in terms of how this article might define adulthood. First, and least, driving. I had originally set a goal of earning my license before I turned thirty. That did not happen. My usual excuse is that my day-to-day life is such that I really don’t need a car. And this is true. I can walk or bus to work, shopping, entertainment, really 95% of what I need to. But for that last 5%, I do wind up feeling guilty for having to request car-pool solutions, or the fact that I can’t visit my parents without arranging them to meet me at least part way with a ride. That said, this is probably the lowest priority of things I would like to improve. Though I sometimes suspect I’m subconsciously holding out for improving technology to render the point moot.

The next two are somewhat intertwined, and probably stem back to the same personality flaw. One is financial management and planning. Right now I have no real financial safety net that doesn’t involve running up more credit card debt. I am not in any meaningful way saving for retirement. I’m not exactly just living paycheck-to-paycheck, though, either. In college and shortly thereafter, I made some financial decisions that were less than ideal. Additionally, I’ve had some health crises and pet-health crises crop up that have been more expensive than I would like. As a result, I’ve had to prioritize paying off old debt rather than starting new savings. I don’t know that there’s much I can do here other than what I’m already doing–try to get all of the high-to-medium-interest debt paid off within the next few years, then use the money I had been paying into those accounts each month to start long-term savings instead.

The key part to that will be avoiding taking on any further debt. Since most of my credit card and consolidation loan balance accumulated slowly as I didn’t quite keep pace with paying it off, that means keeping my normal daily expenditures under control and within the budget allowable by my paycheck. And making and sticking to a budget has never been something I’ve been that good at.

The final area for improvement is management of my health, both physical and mental. This ties into finances, because even with insurance, doctors and therapists are expensive. And I am fundamentally lazy, so if I am more or less getting by, why bother take the time to schedule a physical, or what have you. But I know I have at least one, possibly more undiagnosed, untreated issues, so if I took the time to actually go through with a course of treatment, I might see significant improvements in my general quality of life.

I’d say “just make an appointment”, but a couple of things need to happen first. I need to budget for it, first. Which means figuring out where I can trim my weekly expenses to set aside some money to avoid taking on more debt as discussed above. Also, I would like to find a doctor I feel comfortable with. I tried seeing someone more regularly back when I was living in Saint Paul, and couldn’t find a clinic that felt right. I’ve gotten some recommendations, but it turns out that they were for providers that aren’t in my insurance network. And I don’t even know how you’d go about finding a therapist. But I know it can be done.

So those are my goals, areas where I’m not exactly succeeding as a fully-functional adult. If I don’t address them, they might even blow up into bigger problems in the future. So let’s see what we can do, hey?

Inevitability #1

cool-cat-leroy

I borrowed this cooler with the intention of using it while I defrost my freezer–a chore I have been neglecting since I moved in four years ago, and desperately needed as the freezer has a coating of over an inch of ice on all sides threatening to prevent the door from closing properly. But nope! It’s a cat bed now. Not sure why people buy dedicated cat furniture, when mine prefer things like coolers, backpacks, etc.

I maked this.

Welcome to yet another project I’ve decided to dive into. We’ll see how well this one holds up compared to other things I’ve attempted to make regular hobbies in the past.

Lately I’ve realized I have longer thoughts than are really conducive to a Facebook wall post, so rather than rambling to my cats (an act of which inspired the title and domain name) I decided to join the blogging generation. This will be largely a tool to get ideas out of my brain and keep a record somewhere a bit more permanent. Assuming I can keep this up, things to expect to see should include:

  • General philosophizing
  • Long-form repsonses to things I happen to come across on the Internet
  • Typos
  • Progress reports on other hobbies such as cosplay
  • Reviews of things that interest me, likely gaming related
  • Wordplay
  • The inevitable cat pictures
  • Pages that break because I’m still learning how WordPress works
  • Status reports as I work on improving various life skills